UNHAPPYB@ST@RD
15th March 2005, 12:02
Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him that his wife was in a terrible car accident.
He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife has been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
"Mr. Jones?" the Doctor asks. "Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?" The doctor sits next to him and says, "not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine."
"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones. "What is her prognosis?"
"Well Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable, however, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability to feed herself. This means you will have to feed her."
Mr. Jones begins to sob.
"And, you'll have to turn her in bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia."
Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.
"Then of course, you'll have to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder, and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day."
Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs and wails. The doctor continues,
"And you'll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge whenever and quite often, I'm afraid. Of course, you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she'll be emitting regularly."
Now Mr. Jones is convulsing, sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mess. Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder and says, "Hey, I'm just f*cking with you.....................She's dead!"
He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife has been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
"Mr. Jones?" the Doctor asks. "Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?" The doctor sits next to him and says, "not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine."
"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones. "What is her prognosis?"
"Well Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable, however, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability to feed herself. This means you will have to feed her."
Mr. Jones begins to sob.
"And, you'll have to turn her in bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia."
Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.
"Then of course, you'll have to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder, and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day."
Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs and wails. The doctor continues,
"And you'll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge whenever and quite often, I'm afraid. Of course, you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she'll be emitting regularly."
Now Mr. Jones is convulsing, sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mess. Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder and says, "Hey, I'm just f*cking with you.....................She's dead!"