Relationship Advice

[Anonymous]

Hey All
I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. Lately however I have noticed that I am starting to look at other women. I have gotten a few phone numbers and talk to them odly on the net but haven't actually initiated anything. I love my girlfriend but now find myself curious of what else is out there. Is my relationship lost or is this a normal faze?

Thanks

[Mistoffelees]

I think that this is a fairly normal phase to go through. I think we all wonder what it would be like to be with someone else or even someone different. Maybe sit down and take a look at yourself and your life and figure out exactly what it is that you want from life and from a relationship. Do you want to date others? Do you want to build a life with your girlfriend? Can you see spending the rest of your life with this woman? Can you grow old with her? Reflect on it for a while and then decide if it is worth keeping your current relationship going.

[Rossco]

Couldn't add much more to what was said above. I've been married for nearly 13 years now, and I still look at and flirt with other women (not with much success unfortunately)! I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Doesn't mean I want to actually take it further though, my marriage means too much to me.

You can look at the menu when you are on a diet, just don't have a nibble...

[Roxie]

monogamy, monotony...same thing.

[ClassyCarny]

Just throwing my two bits in- be fair to HER too. What if you were reading this post and found out SHE had written it? maybe you're not the one for her. maybe you need remember the things you loved/hated about being single and see if you want to re-visit that. The "spice of life" and all that but some spices will burn you.(jumping off soapbox now)

But.......What Mist said kind of nailed it. Could you handle the rest of your life being like the last 2 years of it? Could you handle letting your girl go or are you a "cake and eat it too" kind of guy? Hope you find happiness either way!
Carny

[genocidealiv]

I'm fairly certain you know the answer to your question. It's normal.

However, what you're struggling with isn't the question you asked, and that's straying to take it further with these women. Honestly "I'm bored" isn't going to get you much sympathy from relationship advisors, and for good reason. You need to re-examine your relationship and decide if you want out. Because honestly if I found out my chick was getting numbers and chatting up guys I'd tell her to do it solo.

[bitsy999]

First decide if this is a relationship you want to be long term. If it isn't - let your partner know so both of you can get out now and move on.

If it is something you want to keep - then perhaps this piece of advice (which my grandmother gave to me once, many many years ago) may help you.

Any healthy relationship requires constant work + dedication + commitment to continue to be healthy. Even the best cared for plants or pets, etc., occasionally go through times where they are not thriving as well as they used to. This is a normal cycle of life. It is duing the 'not so good' times, if you are really dedicated to the relationship, that you need to roll the sleeves up (both of you, not just one) and work at getting things back to good or even better. In a relationship that has lasted for decades - this can and usually does happen on several occasions, if not on a regular basis. It's not the end of the world (or the relationship) - BUT doing nothing will be the end of it.

Commitment and Dedication in a relationship are NOT one time events. These are attributes that have to be re-confirmed and re-invented many times over.

"It can be very difficult to tell who your good friends are during good times. It's obvious who your good friends are during bad times."